I AM TIRED OF IT!

I'm in one of those moods ... you know the ones where you just want to crawl into bed & never come out? Yeah one of those.

Item # 1: The AMMP has been remodeling his mom's bathroom for almost 2 weeks. I came home with the kids a week ago to a house big enough for all of us, with a functioning bathroom & comfortable beds. Plus they had dental appointments, and the bill is going to be outrageous. So I've been doing the married-but-single-parent thing, which totally sucks. And the whole time of course we have all missed each other ALOT, but the situation can't be helped. He has to finish the bathroom because it's the only one she has.

Item # 2: The summer community stage band I'm supposed to be helping with, as in playing in & promoting? Now I'm in charge of running rehearsals because the AMMP & the other guy who are capable of doing that are out of town. Possibly until the week of our first gig, which is in 2 weeks. And other people in the band can't make it to rehearsals all at the same time because they are out of town or working. GAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Item # 3: The AMMP is also the music director for the summer musical for community theater. He now owes Geek Boy $24 for express shipping so we could send him the music, which he forgot to take with him. He brought tools, 3 boxes plus a brief case of job hunting stuff plus our wireless printer so he can continue to look for jobs, but not his scores for the musical.

Item # 4: This is probably the one that hurt the most. We found out yesterday that the AMMP didn't get hired back for his old job in the town where we live, where we've been living for 2 years since he lost his job due to job cutbacks. The person who took his job retired, so my husband reapplied. They didn't even call him for an interview. He was sent a generic rejection letter like everyone else. The only school that's called him for an interview so far is almost 400 miles away, 20 miles away from the school district that put my husband & son through hell the entire 2 years we lived there. I'm not even sure how we can afford to move again, since the AMMP has been on unemployment for 2 years. It cost us $1000 for the moving truck & gas 4 years ago, not to mention deposits for rent & utilities. 

Item #5: If the AMMP doesn't get a job, then what will happen? Maybe he can fall back on his other music skills which entail arranging & composing music for brass ensembles (especially in regard to church music) & bands. Or he could get a contractor's license. He obviously has mad skills doing household things like plumbing, wiring, drywalling, installing tubs, showers, toilets & sinks, plus carpentry. Luckily I have a job with insurance & benefits, so that's not a huge concern right now. Just keep us in your thoughts & prayers, ok? I'll keep you posted.

Road Trip to MIL's house

TUESDAY, JUNE 7, 2011

Road Trip to MIL's house

Hey there people – Music Momma is still on FMLA from work, at least for this week. I definitely do not feel ready to go back yet, I still have swiss cheese brain, so my  concentration is shot. I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be standing on my feet operating tools in a factory setting for 10 hours a day.  I’m going to call the docs at the hospital sometime this week to ask for an extension of 2 more weeks.

We took the kids to the dentist yesterday. Each of the girls has a cavity, DeeDee’s is pretty small on a back molar. Brainiac’s takes up half of one back molar & she may need a root canal. However, Geek Boy has 9 cavities & a wisdom tooth that needs to be pulled. YIKES! I told him no more pop, energy drinks or premade sweet teas and he needs to start brushing & flossing his darn teeth! We take them back next Monday for the fillings.

The AMMP, Brainiac, DeeDee & I are visiting my Mother-in-Law at least until Sunday. Geek Boy is at home, staying with a family friend so he can work. AMMP is renovating his mom’s bathroom, the girls will be swimming in her above ground pool as much as possible & I will hopefully catch up on sleep & computer projects. Depending on how long this bathroom project takes, we could be here for a while. We’re just taking things as they come for now.

Yesterday on the 6 ½ hour trip down here I slept a majority of the time. When we got here around 11 pm, I got the hide-a-bed pulled out, sheets on, took my Tylenol 3 & went to sleep within 30 minutes. Due to those circumstances, when DeeDee woke me up at 5:30 this morning to tell me her air mattress was deflated I was awake. DeeDee is lying in bed with Daddy. Up until a little while ago she was asking every 10 minutes what time it was, I finally answered “Too early to go swimming, go back to sleep!” She finally dozed off. I think we’ll have her make a little bed with the couch cushions tonight so we don’t have that problem again.

Our 16 yr. old nephew (and my only Godchild) will be coming here tonight to help the AMMP with the bathroom project. He’s such a good kid & an awesome helper! I can’t wait to see him, it’s been about 4 months since we’ve seen any of the AMMP’s  family.

weekly update #2

SATURDAY, JUNE 4, 2011

weekly update #2

Sorry to those of you who have been trying to follow my blog, this week has been a little off kind of nuts way crazy due to me still trying to get used to my new meds.
Anyway, the local community stage band that the AMMP, I & Geek Boy are a part of haskind of maybe completely taken over our lives this week. I arranged one piece of music so it was usable by our group & went to a local HS to borrow some music.
Today the handbell choir from our church will be playing at another church in our town. We also  have 2 graduation open houses to attend. Tomorrow the church choir will sing for the last time until fall & we have a potluck for the choir members.
Monday afternoon the kids have dental checkups, then we are heading out of town to my Mother-in-law's for almost a week! Yay! I am not being facetious about that at all, my MIL takes care of us & will not allow me to over-exert myself. After we come back, it's back home for 4 days, then 5 days at my parents' house in ND for a visit.

weekly update #1

FRIDAY, MAY 27, 2011

weekly update #1

Hey all - I just decide to do an end of the week update, either on Friday or Saturday as my schedule allows. It's been a week since I came home from the hospital, and things for the most part have been good. The first anti-psychotic med was horrible(You can read about that here http://musicmamasbigolballofcrazy.blogspot.com/newmeds ).
I started taking a different anti-psychotic med on Monday, and so far it seems to be doing what it's supposed to do. My energy levels are very low, so I can't do much. I may go out on an errand or 2 with the AMMP, but that's about it.
Speaking of the AMMP, he has been amazing through all of the stuff this week. One morning after the kids were gone, he set up our living room like a massage parlor, with a roaring fire in the wood-burning fireplace, candles, classical music & gave me a massage. He also bought me a single red rose. He's been building fires all week because cold weather has been aggravating my arthritic joints and we don't want to turn the furnace on. Plus, it makes the house smell amazing! I hope everyone has a good & safe Memorial Day Weekend!

New Meds

TUESDAY, MAY 24, 2011

Hey there everyone! Just an update on how things have been going since I came back from the mental health unit. While I was there, I was put back on my mood stabilizer. The doctor also added an anti-psychotic med for the anxiety I've experienced since I was in junior High. The first 5 days I took the anti-psychotic I was okay, but the last 2 days on that med I started becoming alarmingly hyper sensitive to everything, especially touch, certain sounds & light. I also became more & more agitated. I had the AMMP read the prescription drug info sheet from the pharmacy & he determined that these 2 drugs have been shown to have strong adverse interactions with each other. I was so agitated on Sunday evening that he though he might need to have me admitted again. I called my doctor the next day & I was switched to a different anti-psychotic med. So far no jitters or increased agitation and last night I slept solidly from 11 pm to 8:30 am. I still have swiss cheese brain, but I hope that will decrease when my body gets used to being on my meds again. I'm still having some troubles staying on a set daily routine, but that will come. I had my FMLA extended for an additional 2 weeks so I can fully recover. Luckily I have Short-Term Disability through my employer, so that will provide us with some income.

Our pastor came for a visit today, it was nice to see him & give him an update on what's been happening. I also had a discussion with our parish nurse about County resources for therapy, support groups, etc. I'm on the prayer list at our church, so we know there are a lot of people giving support.
I went to the chiropractor today for the first time in over 2 years. My body was so tense that my chiropractor had to adjust everything from the top of my neck down to my hips. I feel so much more relaxed! I also made an appointment for Thurs. to have a massage therapist come into our home for an hour long session.
That's all for tonight, time for Music Momma & the AMMP to hit the sack & get ready to face a brand new day tomorrow!

Explaining recent events

So recently I ended up in the mental health unit of  a hospital about 2 hours away from where we live. What led up to The Craziest this time (okay, the only other time it was this bad was when I was diagnosed almost 8 yrs ago) was the Stress, which I explained in my first post, titled About Us. The other major factor was the fact that I had not been taking my meds. So I ended up on the 3rd floor, otherwise known as The Big Ol' House of Crazy.  What this forced medical leave allowed me to do was get away from The Stress & take a deep look at how badly things had gotten and what I need to do to keep things on track. Number 1: Take my meds. Number 2: No more alcohol (because it has adverse affects with my meds). Number 3: See my therapist on a regular basis. Also while I was in The Big Ol' House of Crazy, my psych doc had me write an Advanced Directive in case things even get close to as bad as earlier this week & write down the warning signs of my manic/hypo-manic side of the Bipolar Disorder so the AMMP & I can try to recognize it before it happens. My last assignment was to list my strengths & weaknesses. Surprisingly, the no alcohol has been more difficult than I thought, so I've been taking half of my nightly anti-anxiety pill in the afternoon & the other half before bedtime so I can fall asleep at a decent time.

About Us

May 23rd 2011
About Music Mama's Family

I am Music Mama. I attended college for music education right after high school, but due to mostly financial reasons, I didn't finish my degree. I've been married to a public school music teacher for almost 18 yrs. I'll call him the Absent-Minded Music Professor, or AMMP for short. He's also the music director/coordinator for our church. We have 3 amazingly talented & intelligent children. The oldest is our 17 yr old son, Geek Boy. Our middle child is an 11 yr. old girl, The Brainiac. Our youngest is a 9 yr. old girl, I'll call her DeeDee because she reminds me of the sister in the Dexter's Lab cartoon. AMMP's main instruments (although he plays all the band instruments) are french horn & guitar, Geek Boy's are french horn & bass guitar, The Brainiac plays french horn (are you seeing a pattern here?) & piano, DeeDee so far only plays piano because she's not old enough to be in band yet, but she wants to play clarinet. Music Mama plays trombone. We all sing as well.
That's the music background ... now to The Crazy. Music Mama has a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, with a touch of  Anxiety, mild ADD & mild OCD on the side. Geek Boy has a diagnosis of ADD & Anxiety. AMMP has high blood pressure & a genetic predisposition for heart disease & sinus problems. All 3 of us take medications for our conditions. Music Mama, Geek Boy & The Brainiac also have seasonal pollen allergies, for which we take prescription  & OTC meds. DeeDee has mild ADD, just enough to make it difficult for her to focus in school or listen to directions, but not enough to medicate (which is just fine with us).
To further complicate The Crazy, AMMP has been unemployed for the last 2 yrs due to circumstances out of his control & not related to his job performance in any way. The person who filled his job is now retiring & AMMP has reapplied for his job as a band director. Please wish us luck! Music Mama works in a factory & Geek Boy works at a grocery store. We live in a little town in extreme northern MN (in what my kids call "Almost Canada"), population approx 1500. One last thing ... if you know my family & I personally, please don't mention us by name in comments. We have the nicknames for a reason. Thank you!